So Father’s Day is coming up. And while I am really super extra tempted to have my kids buy their dad a new set of dishes, I shall restrain myself. Even though that one time for Christmas he bought me a router (not the internet kind, the cut through stuff kind). And even though that one time he bought me a banana chair from our as of yet unborn child and even though I couldn’t get up from the ground after sitting in said banana chair because I was like seventeen months pregnant and getting up from a couch was hard enough. But again, I will buy him something that he wants for his day. The thing is, I don’t want what he wants. He wants an Orange tree for the backyard. I don’t want to pick up said rotten oranges that don’t get picked up and eaten or juiced. People ask what he wants besides a tree: nothing. They ask does Dad have a sweet tooth? Maybe I can get him a basket of oranges and that’ll make him happy?